Dear 17 year old Aidan
I actually completely forgot that you were going to write to me 5 years ago and only just happened to look at this 5 years after I was supposed to. So I guess we can do this a every 10 year thing lmao. Well I’m 27 now and holy yes things have changed, for the very good and very bad. I kinda do remember back then a little, I’m not sure why you exactly mentioned CSGO as you barely played that but I defs know you played Ark, Reign of Kings, Halo and Minecraft back then quite a lot which I kinda still do play Ark, Halo and Minecraft from time to time today but no way near as much today as you used to. And found a game you stuck with for a while that you aspire with everyday being the best game you have ever played just after you made that time capsule, which is Rust. You grinded the hell out of it with Dym or Zac that you may know of, yeah he changed his name again.. Dymiumm with 2 m’s so ehhh… copyright doesn’t get back to him or some shit idk lol, I guess Zecrefate wasn’t it. But I will tell you that Rust took a turn for the worse when they started changing the whole game to make it more casual and less what it used to be unfortunately, so you cherished those golden times well.
Umm well school was still boring and still had no “friends” so it was a blessing you left school as you had the time to do literally anything. But within in the few years after that you still didn’t really know what you wanted to do, you basically were being on centrelink dole bludging as you had mad anxiety because you just wanted to do what you enjoyed the most which was wanting to play games or create them. Unfortunately there was barely opportunities in general with preferred jobs or competitive opportunities. And also it didn’t help that your dad tried to push you into becoming a electrician and your mum kinda tried but kinda not really at the same time with finding work for you. At times it became very draining and unbearable at times so I’m sorry to say that you had to hear yourself go through some rough times every so often but you eventually pushed through it and got on top of it thanks to your sister (Tanya) and your brother (Michael) helping you out with hiring you with their business; though has been quite stressful at times, it has been rewarding at the same time.
Your mum was doing well with looking after you and you looking after her. And also taking care of our new found white floofy cat that was a stray. She was very timid at first but became very close and smoochy that we definitely found a home for her here. At times she got annoying moments where she keeps throwing up or wanting to play when mum was trying to sleep haha, but she was an adorable floof. Mum was doing volunteering as that was her requirement for being on centrelink and couldnt really find work in general as she was older but she eventually retired but that didnt stop her from working haha. She was still fairly stubborn not letting herself not doing things but was very caring and understanding of situations. Dad is still… dad, he gave me a car that I very infrequently used which eventually I had to get rid of due to issues with the gearbox and it was too expensive to repair years after, leaving us carless for a while. But today currently you are using your niece’s old car for travel mostly for going to Tanya’s place for work as you live all the way an hour away from where you used to be. Dad has mostly been still himself giving useful insights and advice on life as a whole, helping out where he can and traveling across many countries around the world. We still get in touch and go out to dinners every so often but a little less lately as things have been severely more busy. Michael has got ownership of his own business linked up with Tanya’s/Troy’s business. Tanya is now married which happened in the last month, we all had a great time and was very emotional, I even broke down as someone wasn’t able to see it which that I will talk about further below. Jack is growing up a crazy bit pursuing his boxing which is pretty dope, he’s also into cars as he plays Forza and F1 games. Paige is doing well too, has a fiancé now though having troubles but I’m sure she’s hella strong and can work things out in her favor. She’s also creating a book series of her creative stories, hope she keeps pushing her creativity with it as it sounds awesome. Harrison is pursuing with being in the airforce or at least something related to it, also been in some R6S tournaments or at least some small ones, not my thing but props on him as I never would touch that game lol. Charli doing her biology studies (I think it’s biology, something to do with chemistry or science lol) and juggling work at the same time, I bet she’s gonna do great and it’s going to pay off in the end. Leigh, Nicky and Ben are doing good, they are mostly the same being the cool people they are. You still see them every so often and try to fit in but I guess you’re still the quiet kid that plays board games with Ben to relieve the boredom as you’re very introverted still. Although you have gotten more confidence the more you got older and a little less anxious overtime so that’s a plus. Ben and Nicky’s kids are growing up quite fast, fun and goofy kids to see every so often. But with Leigh though, he had a bit of a drug mishap that there was a little scary situation which had you emotional but he eventually got rehab in the end which he came out on top of it all in the end which is really good.
With being a professional gamer, you did compete in some tournaments over the years which I’m happy you did but you really did wish there was more out there as Australia as a whole is just not there with the population or interest so you didn’t get any earnings which sucks... You did get into tournaments with Rust, Ark and Halo Infinite, which some of your teams highlights were being broadcasted on the Halo twitch stream. Well, who would of known that you definitely got addicted to ark which you predicted it was going to be. Watching all those videos of Sl1pg8r being super attached to the game months before you played it (Apparently Sl1pg8r haven’t made videos in 3 years. I haven’t watched them since tbh but they are apparently sailing with their partner and just living life to the fullest). You pulled one time having a 60 play session on ark, like what he actual fuck!!! I can tell you ain’t doing that again because you felt literally dead after it and you have done 24 hours on other games after that and still felt like a zombie multiple times haha. You are still incredibly skilled and getting better day by day. You did join a professional Battlefield 4 team but never really competed in it with tournaments or anything, a few scrims and pugs but nothing more unfortunately as it was just a time you were unfortunately a bit too late. Even the newer Battlefield games didn’t come to much as they also were also the result of casual unskilled gameplay. Though you are currently trying Battlefield 6 as there’s potential there for competitive but it seems a bit iffy with the popularity of our region again and the fact that it’s not properly set up for competitive yet. The same was with Halo, Rust and pretty much everything else, hence why you still play the classics. Games dramatically went down hill which it feels like a really fucking shitty timeline we are in but at the same time it made you stand up, walk away from the shitty trend and start creating a game yourself to be the best everyone wants. Which you did and are still working on. You have gone as far as making a little studio with massive plans for the future of having employees. Keen to hear how far you’ll go with that, wishing you all the success and hope all the hard work you put into it is worth it in the end.
Oh you thought curving bullets and robots were cool and scary, AI is now a big thing and that’s 100x more scary. Basically are computers are more smarter and do stuff for you now in everything, basically robots and androids are now a reality. But it also comes at a cost like they are still experimental so they fuck up a lot and with artists are being fucked over because AI is stealing references online and just handing out junk versions of it for a subscription price instead of people wanting to learn how to draw or wanting to support the community. Bit sad but that’s the reality unfortunately, least we have a good community to strive to push for the better and make things right for the cause. Wars are happening with Ukraine and Russia which is still kind of happening for years over dumb history beliefs, Israel has got their own wars but you personally dont care for it as the middle east usually are corrupt anyway. Australia is getting more ridiculous with prices and taxes. The UK has gone ballistic with laws now (you’ll see why I’m talking about the UK later), people are getting arrested for putting posts online having an opinion about the illegal immigrants which got deleted hours after posting which being put 9 months in prison… Bro what kind of world do we live in now. Hopefully things change for the better, let me know how that pans out especially when you’re heading there soon. Things have/will get better in time, there’s a hell of a lot of bad stupid people out there but there’s also many good people out there in the world that actually just want’s to live life happily.
You are still chatting to Dym/Zac but have grown more distant after the events that you have experienced further below as he’s changed into a different person but haven’t at the same time. Feels like he kinda lost himself with a few things but if he’s enjoying himself then I don’t see a problem I guess. We don’t really play games together much anymore as he’s mostly playing the things you don’t play nor does want to play anything you want at times even though you asked a few times but it’s all good I guess. Realmy (the mate you mostly hang out with now that you found from Battlefield 4 competitive) is still his cool self farming people in Battlefield which you do play with fairly frequently and appreciate the time spent. There’s a few more people that joined our gang like SlowFatWombat which is a very ragey boy at times but cool and loyal at heart, Delta the more unhinged deranged cunt you probably you can find online (which he most likely find as a compliment lol) but is also pretty chill and friendly a lot of the time, got some others that chat or play from time to time such as Scrubpar, CW and Jamiebra. Some here and go over the years but one that stays stuck around is definitely Ben, the other Ben that is super close that’s always been like an older brother to you. He’s always there to play anything with or help with in anyway possible. You ask him to play something and he’s instantly there for hours. Yes he still rambles on about random shit all the time haha but it’s quite funny and fascinating what he goes on about. He’s definitely staying around in your life for a while I can tell you that. Lemme know if anything changes throughout our friendships in time, would be very curious if much change with our autistic discord group lol.
Listening to music as still been a therapeutic thing after an anxious or overall rough day but you have found a somewhat new artist in the mix as you have been dabbling with hiphop now. Logic. There’s a few other artists out there but you found Bobby Biracial aka Psychological aka Skiddles aka the best creative and best melody rap artist out there. You found him through Eminems Homicide track, which you were like yo this verse is crazy who is this guy? And you listen to some of his individual tracks on No Pressure which evidently and unfortunately that was his last album as he “retired” but you found at first some of the tracks where iffy which you were about to stop looking into his music but wanted to give more hope as he killed it on that verse. So you went along and found The Incredible True Story and Young Sinatra: Welcome to Forever which changed your world of music forever. You listened and downloaded every single music released from him including the unreleased ones, bought merch and was even in a discord with him calling you “da bomb.com”. You still listen to him today back to back and still believe there hasn’t been music as good out there like his lyrically and melodically.
You grinded many good years through gaming, and grinded the shitty years also so you pushed yourself 2 and a half years of Unreal Engine self taught which I’m quite proud you did because that’s what you believed in going forward of gaming. Being your true self with being creative and having fun, you had a strong mindset of no one taking that away from you and you still stand by that today. Though this past year you had to put on hold for development for a little while as the year has been quite awful but also the best year of your entire life. Really really really fucked up unfortunate thing happened and I’m very god damn sorry for your loss man but your Mum passed away a year ago and has been absolutely horrid to experience, even today when I hear any mention to her I cant help but tear up and want to break down. Your mum had a stroke and had a blood clot which very long story short when the surgeons tried to use a stint to help, the blood went to the brain resulting in her death within 24 hours from incident. Completely awful and utterly devastating as she was very healthy, which confused us because she kept an eye on her health and only had a little high-ish cholesterol. She did still smoked quite a bit which if this was the result of it, it’s still heartbreaking to hear. But your family and friends overwhelmingly supported you going through this and they where always there to help in anyway they can. You slowly grieved overtime but even though the feeling never left you, you are still proud of what your mum as gone through with raising you throughout you life. Your mum was very true to her happy nature and looked after everyone especially you, the one she calls her little savior that has never stopped being there in your life.
But on the bright side of all the dark and sadness, a very big bright star shined in your life. A couple weeks of being alone in the house with the kitty cat, gave you a 3rd perspective look on yourself and saw that there could be more of what you could do with your life and experience the things that you have never experienced before ever even after 26 years of your life, venturing into the unknown and break the chains once and for all. Which was finding someone in your life to be with forever, you definitely did it and you definitely proposed to them 50 days after meeting him, yes Aidan I said him, you are gay now. I guess that girlfriend you mentioned didn’t eventually happen and you got a long distance boyfriend, fiancé and now a husband that is not completely official yet but you call each other that nonstop haha. As you had to move out which you evidently moved in with your brother and still staying with him currently, you were non stop chatting back and forth with this amazing person that gravitated around your life. His name is Cosmo and day after day being in each others embrace to over a year meeting him, you still have those same love addicting feelings about him. You put an immerse amount of effort and care for him that you sacrificed and sacrificing everything to be with and he has put in his absolute all to put his commitment to loving the living hell out of you. You even took a huge step in your life of traveling over to the UK for a month and a half to see him earlier in the year and it felt truly like you are home being there. You do appreciate a great amount of your dad during that time because he helped lend you money for your super early 30th birthday present to help cover some costs of travel. But when you first saw your amazing husband in person, life felt bliss. You have not had this compassion or fun with anything in your life up until you met Cosmo. He appreciates what you do for him of what he went through in the past from years ago to what he goes through with his chronic symptoms of ADHD and CPTSD. Some moments were very depressing to witness the struggles of symptoms that impacted both of you in several different ways which resulted in never been busier than ever and currently have a super strict schedule to look after your husband. But you 2 adorable handsome guys have fortunately worked out much better ways to handle these situations in the end and soon you will be able to live over in the UK to be with the love of your literal life, being the happiest you have ever been. Cosmo has been the best experience in the whole world that you wished you had many years ago. But now you have, you have fucking made it sir. How fkn crazy is that from being a no life gremlin gamer to someone that actually has a life now, just like that.
I’m proud of you Aidan, I really fucking am. And I cannot wait to see what more I hear from you in the next 10 years as I feel like this is going to be the best 10 years of you and Cosmo’s life. I wish you all the best with moving over to the UK with your husband, having the everlasting best of times. And of course, don’t ever forget what you always strive for… being yours and now Cosmo’s true self of being happy.
Yours truly,
Aidan Turner